Saturday, May 18, 2013


Ed Brayton at Dispatches from the Culture Wars relates a Ray Comfort proselytizing story worth having a giggle at.

It reminds me of the ever-diminishing stream of proselytizers that have accosted me on the street or at my door over the years. The most memorable - and scary - was when I was 17 and mowing my Dad's front lawn. Two old, I mean OLD men in black suits and armed with bibles stopped me in mid-mow. That's a gardening term - "mid-mow". They asked me if I thought it would be wonderful when the lion lies down with the lamb, yada, blah, yada. I was weirded out. I think my dad looked out the window, called me inside as if he had another chore for me, and rescued my shiftless ass.

Fast forward twenty years. I'm pretty hard boiled about it now. People attempting to witness to me at the front door get a curt "No thanks - 'preciate it!" from me before I firmly close the door. Not quite a slam - a firm closing.

I just really don't care what people think about their religion.

I don't care if people are concerned about my "soul", although, if they'd expressed concern about my soles, I might be interested.

It would be fun to converse with Ray Comfort, though. When he gets to his "do you think you're a good person" shtick, I'd answer with an unequivocal "no" and proceed with a totally fabricated rap about how I like to use Black & Decker power tools on people to see whether they find it pleasurable or painful, and how I like Black & Decker better than Stanley or Craftsman, and why. I could have a lot of fun with that!

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